Jakarta, CNBC Indonesia – Communication between parents and children greatly influences the character of children and how they grow in the future. Because the memory of children who are experiencing a period of maturity has extraordinary power in recording and absorbing all attitudes and words from their environment.
For this reason, the behavior that is carried out as well as verbal things that are raised from parents as a source of education and the main source of affection for children must be sorted wisely and carefully. Because all forms of communication will be remembered clearly on the child’s motor sensors and affect their character.
From the results of the study, Margot Machol Bisnow, author and parenting expert from the United States (US) conducted interviews with 70 parents who raised children to become very successful adults, found that parental communication plays a large role in shaping future children.
According to Bisnow, the words below are never used by parents of children who grow up to be successful people. If your child wants to be successful, avoid these expressions as much as possible.
1. “No playing after school until your grades improve.”
Many parents do not understand the desires and aspirations of their children. Some children may not actually have the desire to be smart academically, but parents actually force their own will.
Parents should support the wishes of their children. Because playing activities help children learn to socialize and make rules and agreements. That way, children have the opportunity to learn until they are able to make decisions.
2. “Your parents will give you money if you get good grades.”
Giving money when children get good grades, or complete other school assignments, is not recommended to do. When parents only focus on achievement and satisfactory grades in school, the child’s potential will wither before it can develop.
Grades and achievements at school are important, but don’t forget that parents also need to support the development of various other aspects of life so that children grow into whole and positive individuals.
3. “I don’t believe you, so I check your homework and correct if something goes wrong.”
All parents should stress the importance of responsibility from an early age. They want children to take responsibility, face their own problems, learn from mistakes and be more confident as they get older.
John Arrow, owner of Mutual Mobile, a leading technology company, admits that when he was in fifth grade, he and his friends wrote the school newspaper, which sold out instantly. However, they failed to do any fact checking.
The headmaster became very angry, and his friends got into trouble with their parents. But John’s parents laughed and told him to correct his mistake.
“Knowing my parents would support me, even when the school was against me, made me work even harder to show them they made the right decision because they trusted me,” said John.
4. “Father/mother give extra pocket money so you can buy whatever you want.”
The negative impact of spoiling children comes from the habit of parents who give all the wishes of children. This habit indirectly makes children unable to learn about the concept and attitude of responsibility.
Children who are used to being pampered with money will become lazy, unmotivated, and also easily angry if their wishes are not fulfilled. In the end, they will grow up without emotional maturity, and have difficulty coping with problems when they grow up.
The most important thing is to give understanding to children about the use of pocket money and provide facilities for children to save.