Jakarta, CNBC Indonesia – The determining factor for a child’s success in the future is not always an expensive school. In fact, there are many other factors that can determine a child’s future success.
Child psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba says that persistence is the main ability that can support a child’s future success.
“I found that persistence is soft skills the number one difference between highly motivated kids and those who give up easily,” Borba said.
According to him, children with persistence and persistence have high self-confidence because they believe their efforts will produce good results. Thus, children are still motivated to work hard and finish what they start, even though there are many obstacles in the process.
So that children can have these abilities, parents are tasked with encouraging children to develop traits that will help them become successful.
The following are five ways that fathers and mothers can do, according to Borba, to help their little ones develop their perseverance.
1. Train Children to Be Independent
Borba advises parents not to help their children too often to do things they can do alone. Teach children to be independent from an early age.
The author of the book “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine” mentions, every time parents do something for their children, they will become increasingly dependent on their parents and not used to being independent.
2. Train Children So They Don’t Give Up Easily
The second step that parents must take to develop their child’s diligent nature is to keep them away from factors that can make them easily discouraged and reluctant to persevere.
There are a number of ways parents can do this. For example, not putting pressure on children to always succeed, always appreciating the efforts made by children (not results), giving children an understanding that success is only temporary, and always understanding the child’s level of ability.
3. Validate Children’s Feelings
When children start to look like they are giving up, it may be because they can’t find a way out of a problem. If that happens, try to validate the child’s feelings by saying that they are normal feelings. Invite them to take a break so their feelings can calm down.
After that, help them find out the mistakes that hinder them from doing something. If the problem has been found, help the child to focus on solving it.
4. Do not quickly praise children
A psychologist from Stanford, Carol Dweck found that children’s intelligence tends not to last when their intelligence is praised because children will feel satisfied quickly. However, children will feel more motivated and keep trying hard when they are praised for their effort and hard work, not the result.
According to Carol, praising children’s efforts, not the results obtained, can develop their perseverance. In addition, if their efforts are praised, children will be encouraged to succeed without expecting anything in return, such as prizes.
5. Help children manage time and focus
If you look like you want to give up and get tired while doing something, ask the child to divide the time between resting and doing activities. One way to do this is to put timer to set how long they can move.
This method is done so that children can understand that doing something to the point of exhaustion is not a good thing.
Explain to the child that they only need to do the activity until the time is up.
After that, ask them to rest before setting the timer again for activities. Thus, the child’s focus will be more easily divided.
5 Signs of a Child Who Will Be Successful in the Future, Make Sure You Have It!